Author Archive

Save Humanity

May 9, 2007

I have to be honest.  I’m not much of a petition signer, but when I saw that the inevitable Save Paris Hilton one had been started, I rushed to add my name.  After all, if Paris goes to jail, think of the pop culture domino effect.  She does 45 days, then Lionel Ritchie’s daughter’s gonna want to do 50, mostly just to fast so she can fit into her toddler-sized mumus.  Lohan will be in for at least 70, long enough for her to fine tune her acting skillz.  Spears will have to up the ante, easily able to handle 90 just so she can make sure that the prison tattoo takes.  Plus the Cheetos are damn tasty in the joint.

Of course some of you may think that it’s all fine and dandy that all of these divas will be locked up, but be careful what you wish for.  I’m not sure Fox News can handle all of the excitement.

Or think of it this way:  how many memoirs about prison life will come out of this if you don’t sign that petition NOW?

So we have to put a stop to this while we can.  The basement needs you to be a hero!

Oh, and save the book reviews!  Rah!


Words Escape Me…

May 5, 2007